Where do I even start?
I know a book that centres around magic isn't going to be realistic, but the scenes with the Dursleys are the most deliciously absurd in the whole series. Take the Aunt Marge fiasco. I understand (though don't accept, because they're bonkers) why Petunia and Vernon are cold to Harry but why is Marge so comically aggressive towards him? Is she just responding to how the Dursleys treat him and the lies they probably tell about him? I mean, saying that she would have sent him directly to the orphanage is pretty harsh, as is only calling your nasty little dog off after several hours of harassing a CHILD up a tree. It's bonkers but I love it - I've never liked soap operas, but this, oh yes, this is my trashy, guilty pleasure.
But it also makes it 10,000 times more exhilarating when Harry finally loses the plot and shatters a brandy glass or y'know, blows up dear sweet Marge. She's being all sassy with her crap about bad blood and bitches and runts of the litter and Harry's just fuming being all;
And BOOM! She goes the way of Violet Beauregarde. So good. SOOOOO good!
Is this the most exciting first half we've read so far? Because what do I discuss next? The giant big dog in the shadows (could it be a grim?)? Shabby old Lupin and the Dementor attack on the train? Sirius and his bloodthirsty desire to murder little Harry Potter? Hermione and her inability to show a modicum of pet owner respect?
Maybe how insanely evil Snape is in this book? Normally with Snape I'm all;
But you DO NOT humiliate Neville in front of another teacher you crazy greasy haired man. Take it out on Harry if you must, frankly his dad was a complete douche to you at school (not that that's really an excuse, seriously, pick on someone your own age) but Neville? What the hell did that small kid with the teeny, fragile self-esteem possibly do to deserve that level of humiliation? No one deserves to be imitated by a boggart and stuffed into a vulture hat more than him in that moment.
I don't want to blather on too much more, especially since I know next week's post is going to be HUGE. But can I just say how much I adore Lupin in this book? I grow to have issues with him later, but in this book he is exactly the teacher all the kids (and not just the Gryffindor trio) need. He's intelligent, warm, approachable, and flippin' great at FINALLY teaching them about defending against the dark arts. He's basically a more reachable Dumbledore, free from the whole scary headmaster-y thing. Not to mention he's got the whole mystery thing going for him at this point. Why did he ride the train to school? Why is he so shabby? Why is he afraid of magic balls? Oh HP newbies, I can't wait for you to read the next half of the book!
|Tina Fey was inadvertently the perfect Lupin/Surius hybrid at the Golden Globes.|
A few smaller points:
*I would absolutely travel exclusively on the Knight Bus if I was a witch.
*Chocolate - it cures my dementor sadness.
*Sorry Hermione, but Honeydukes over town history EVERY TIME.
*Poor Ginny during the dementor attack on the train. She went through hell last year, and she barely got a pat on the back.
*I Love Fred and George mocking Percy at the Leaky Cauldron, it's the twins at their most loveable and least obnoxious;
"Harry!" Said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you old boy-"*Come on Harry, invisible horses? I know he's basically spot on, but wouldn't you assume they were charmed?
"Marvellous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing."
*Ummmm, on p72, Hagrid didn't send you a biting book Ron, you BOUGHT yours 20 pages ago.
*Laura, do English kids actually say things like "Pop my clogs"?
*Hermione, proving to not understand the whole pet thing at all, should probably avoid the logic thing while Lavander is grieving for her bunny rabbit. Give her a couple of days and THEN tell her how mental it is to think Trelawney made a correct prediction.